I just ate an entire package of seaweed snacks!

Ok weird title and odd beginning... they go together, right?

Gesh, the reality is I'm not sure where to begin.  DH and I have been trying to conceive for 17 months now (14 months naturally, post vasectomy reversal, and 3 attempts at home insemination using donor sperm).  I would have never thought it would take this long or that we would have so many problems come up.  I had given birth twice in my early 20's and didn't think I would have too much trouble this time.  But now I've passed the big 35 mark and things just aren't looking so good. 

I spend time telling myself to be happy that I have two children, but it doesn't erase the pain of the children I thought I would have :(  It is also a struggle to not feel guilty about wanting more children, when some women are struggling to have one.   I have a feeling that the pain each of us experience as we struggle  to have children is similar, but yet uniquely different.  I hope that by sharing my journey I will find the strength to continue this journey and give others some strength too.